Blog Post 010 | October 31, 2013 | "In the Station at the Metro" Imitiation

"At Dusk, Noticing the Cobweb"

Tangled and quivered in the corner, I see that

It is a pure reflection

"Looking Deeply into the Machine"

Take measure in shifts of these cogs, wheels, and pistons

Like burning oil in my brain

"The Length of She"

We are magnets in a field. You are distant gold.

Fifteen infinite inches.

Blog Post 009 | October 29, 2013 | "Sonnet"

A song sang of sonnets mixed

The ticking clock pulls past

All the things, taught new- to last

Though words oft fell betwixt

And bound, or culled

Or brought by flame

But some to hear refrains

Sits the chorus- partway lulled

Though me, not with disdain

Oh, cruel time!

The noonday hour

The cost the hear these rhymes

Old knowledge- that makes power

And to craft? Far worse!

A taxing game

One's head feels though to burst

So, I end- smiled, and sane.

(But wish for a longer verse)

Notes: This assignment was significantly harder than I thought it would be. The rules imposed by sonnets (which I broke- twice- just to make it sound better) definitely make the rhyme scheme challenging.

I hope my bending of the rules can be forgiven. It almost creates an interesting effect- the brand new student, clumsily aping along his best facsimile of the masters' style.

I had fun with this. I am used to poetry that is completely free flowing and without rules (and often without rhymes). It added a new challenge to try to make it fit into a certain style or “shape” of rhyming.

Blog Post 008 | October 20, 2013 | "Ode to Silence"

 There are few places left
On this green Earth
Where it is truly possible to
Escape

There is always a hum, a whisper
Often banter
Music
Or simply noise
Something pressing against our ears
Whether we want it or not

The common explanation is
That we have to live like this
Our machines and conveniences
Force us to pay their loud toll

But, I think the truth
Is something much deeper
If we flipped the switch
And shut it all down
We might finally be forced
To know what it is
That we
Most secretly
Most intimately
Believe

Blog Post 007 | September 19 2013 | "A&P"

[REDACTED]

Blog Post 006 | September 18 2013 | "The Story of An Hour"

(My apologies for both the tardiness of this post, as well as its content :P
-Josh)



04/10/2013

Spring has sprung! Doing some cleaning. Enjoying watching the flowers begin to bud from the windows.

04/11/2013

Josephine keeps asking me what's got me so stirred up. Omg. I'm fine, I'm just tired of being cooped up -_-. Still too chilly to enjoy the weather.

04/14/2013

Brently late home from work again. Scolded me for asking too many questions. What's the deal with that?

04/20/2013

Spent a beautiful day out in the garden! Now this is what I had in mind for this year: new life, growth, and achieving my dreams!

Feeling: Hopeful

04/22/2013

Rain, rain, rain. I thought the weather was supposed to stay nice?

04/23/2013

Richards came by and spent time in the den with Brently. Those boys can get so into their little stories and games. Frankly I was a little relieved to have some time away from my husband's watchful eye. Not that I'm complaining, of course.

04/25/2013

Brently has left for business and is expected to be gone for a week or longer. I'll use this as a chance to continue spring cleaning and let the house air out.

If anyone wants to know, here's the guide I'm using to help me figure out the best way to spring clean: http://housekeeping.about.com/cs/cleaning101/a/springclnngguid.htm

04/26/2013

People are shuffling around downstairs and acting really weird. Not sure what to make of this. Feeling suspicious.

04/26/2013

OMG! Apparently there was some kind of train accident! Richards tells me that my husband was killed. Feeling...free, free, free!

04/26/2013

Brently just walked in the door. WTF. I don't even know what to thi-

Blog Post 005 - Sept 13 2013 | "Grotesque"

O'Connor's A Good Man is Hard to Find reminded me several different types of similar work, or at least work from other authors and artists that seem to be linked in my mind (the "grotesque-esque", if I may). This story reminded me of Chuck Palahniuck's Fight Club or Monsters not so much in the narrative sense (as Palahniuck tends to be less descriptive than O'Connor and relies more heavily on dialogue), but in the generally uneasy, disturbing subtext of the situations presented in the story. From the start we get the sense that something isn't quite right about this family and their journey to Florida, but what that "something wrong" is is not specifically addressed or obviously stated. It is up to the reader to determine, through observation, why the story they're reading is grotesque.

It also reminded me of surrealist paintings, like those done by Salvador Dali, the creator of the famous and archetypal "melting clocks painting" (its name is The Persistence of Memory, if you're inclined to learn more about him and his work; he really did have a fascinating life).

When I think "grotesque", I think of things that are disturbing not because they're outright scary, such as in horror, but because they appear on the surface to be quite ordinary, but on closer inspection are actually revolting or uncomfortable to consider. Alternatively, it conjures up images of things that are based on ordinary objects or situations but have been distorted in some way that is not necessarily harmful or dangerous, but still disturbing to behold. For example, the special effects used in the movie adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: under the influence of psychotropic drugs, Hunter perceives the people around him as having melting faces and other abnormal features. This is, in my opinion, a way that we can convey this idea of "grotesque" to the reader or viewer. It's a just-under-the-skin jolt of the unreal, infused with reality in a way that makes it difficult to determine where the "real" begins or ends.

So, let’s talk about why A Good Man is Hard to Find, specifically, is grotesque. The story is set in a rural area, which belies a sense of loneliness and an often creates mental images of vast, empty landscapes, perhaps abandoned farms or ghost towns. We are presented from the beginning with the knowledge that there is an escaped convict on the loose who goes by the handle “the Misfit”. This foreshadowing creates a sense of dread because we as the reader become aware that we are likely going to have to deal with this Misfit character at some point, and things may not end well for our story family.

There are also racial elements at work in this story. It was written in 1955, which was roughly the beginning of the Civil Rights era, when Americans were beginning to push back against the injustices of racism. I think that O’Connor used racist terms in her story both to create a more realistic and immersive environment, as well as to illustrate the grotesque-ness of racism and racial mindsets.

There are some specific passages that are fairly grotesque, too: the grandmother insists on wearing her Sunday best during the drive so that “If I die, I’ll look like a lady”. During the car crash toward the end of the story, it is mentioned that the mother is ejected from the vehicle while holding her baby, which is a fairly disturbing and almost obscene notion (especially since we never learn whether they actually survive). Or, what about the fact that this family in dire straits happens to be found by the Misfit, creating an unlikely “worst possible case” scenario.

Blog Post 004* - September 12 2013 | "Orientation"

*4th blog post chronologically; 5th assigned writing

This is where you'll be standing for most of the day. Don't worry, there's a rubber mat here, so your feet won't get tired. Your feet will get tired anyway, especially if you're not used to standing for a long time. Don't feel ashamed if that happens, even when Kevin makes fun of you because Kevin loves to exercise. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll meet him later. He likes to come size up the new guy. Don't worry, he's nice. We're all nice here. This is the perfect place to work.

You aren't allowed to leave this area. Sometimes a customer will ask you to help them in a different area of the store. You need to go help them, when that happens, but don't forget that you're not allowed to leave this area. When you get back, there will be other customers waiting for your help. They will be angry that you weren't immediately available. Don't worry, this is their way of being nice. We're all nice here.

Every customer is going to talk about the weather. Every customer is going to ask you how your day is going. Every customer is going to complain that the credit card machine is too complicated. Don't worry, this is just their way of being nice. All of our customers are very nice. You aren't allowed to think our customers are not nice. If you do, you may be let go. That's our way of being nice about following the rules here.

You aren't allowed to know anything fancy. Don't let any of the customers catch you using fancy words. You are allowed to know how to count money. You aren't allowed to know the standard form of a complex number. You are allowed to agree that the weather has been nice lately. You aren't allowed to know the melting point of tungsten. We don't pay you to be smart, we pay you to be nice. Nice like the rest of us. When you use big words, it scares the customers. The customers don't like to be scared. It doesn't feel very nice to them. Customers like to know that they're getting the best deals. They like to know that they're smarter than you. It feels nice to them. That's why we pay you.

This is your uniform. You have to wear it every day. We don't have casual Friday here. If you feel sick, you need to come to work anyway. If you're very, very sick, you may stay home, but only when you have a doctor's note. We may let you go when you come back to work. We want you to relax and get better, and how can you do that when you're working?

You will do the same things every day, in the same order, every time. Don't worry about why. People much smarter than you were paid more than you will make in ten years to come up with the ideal way to maximize our profit. Am I going too fast for you? Max-i-mize. That means "make more big". Don't worry, you'll catch on. It's nice to catch on. When you understand the job, we know that we are respecting you the right way. We like to respect our employees here.

This is your store manager. He usually sits up in his office. You may see him at the Christmas party. We don't know what he does, but we know it's way more important than what you do. Don't you dare question it. It's not nice to question things. Especially authority. Oh, auth-or-i-ty? That means "the people who are better than you". Don't worry, you'll catch on. It's nice to catch on.

You are allowed to be happy about your job. You aren't allowed to have a future. Futures are for fancy people with big brains. You don't need to concern yourself with that sort of thing. Just stand here and put the things in the bags. Put the things in the bags. Put the things in the bags. Put the things in the bags. There's a good boy. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just smile. Smile. Smile.

Smile and don't think.

It's nicer that way.

We like to be nice here.

Blog Post 003 - September 02 2013 | "Lottery"

Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" concerns itself with concepts of magic and superstition and their place in society. This is evident, really, from the entirety of the text itself. Here we have a small, rural village. A traditional patriarchy (well, traditional by Western Puritan standards) that is not technologically developed and seems to rely on a yearly ritual sacrifice to ensure the continuation of the village (as evidenced by the line, "Lottery in June, corn be heavy soon").

Ritual sacrifice is not something that is common in our society, and certainly not on a formal basis.The closest approximation to the idea that I can make is the ritual-esque system we have whereby we all sacrifice a great deal of our time accomplishing tasks for society in exchange for the ability to live within that society. In other words, having a job, paying taxes, and living in a heated box called a "house" is not a strict requirement for life, but it certainly makes things a lot easier than hunting out on the plains for your own survival. So, I would say that there is some form of parallel between our day-to-day lives and what is represented in the story. It's a very loose connection, and I openly admit that I'm stretching here. Still, it's theoretically possible for a character in this short story to go off and live on their own. They would avoid "The Lottery" and thus would never have to suffer the possibility of being offered up as a sacrifice.

It's interesting to note that this isn't just one town doing this. The story makes numerous mentions to towns which are either so large as to require the Lottery to be conducted over a period of several days, or have abandoned the Lottery outright. The villagers are making the mistake of confusing correlation and causation. Corn will grow well in fertile soil with the right amounts of sunlight and water. It has no connection to whether or not somebody has been ritually sacrificed that year. However, the villagers are reluctant to accept this premise because they believe stopping the lottery is heretical and will result in poor crops and the possibility of starvation.

As a final note, this concept of ritual sacrifice as a plot device seems to be common throughout history. A recent example would be the very popular Hunger Games series, which is itself based off of older historical events such as the gladiatorial battles of ancient Rome.

Blog Post 002 - August 29 2013 | "Boy"

I know I'm hard on you. I know that. You can't hold it against me, though. I'm doing you a favor. You'll see. Don't show weakness; never cry, especially when other people can see you. Don't get into a fight, but if you do, win it. Keep your muscles strong, but don't worry too much about how fat you get; girls don't care about that anyway. You like girls, right, son? You'd better. You have to treat your woman right. Never raise a hand against her, even when you're drunk. But, don't let her run all over you. You're the head of the household. You make the rules, always. Always push yourself hard to provide for your family. Work hard, and don't complain. You'd better decide if you're gonna be a white collar pencil-pusher, or a blue collar kind of man. Either way can provide, but make your choice and stick with it. It's important to spend time with your buddies. A real man watches football every Sunday with the boys. You send your wife away when it's football time. Like I said, don't let her run things, but don't be a jerk to her either. You'll learn the balance one day.

What about art, or literature, or music?

Forget that. Forget all that. Your job is to be a man. You work hard and you expect some things in return. A hot plate of food and a warm bed isn't too much to ask for after a long day at work. You want to go stare at some paintings like some kinda wussy boy? Go do that shit in New York or something, and leave the hard country work to the real men. Son, men make sacrifices. We can't afford to be seen playin' the flute or somethin' like that. You wanna do that, might as well go be a cheerleader. Might as well be on the flag squad instead of the football team. You understand what I mean?

I think so. I'll do my best, Dad.

I know you will, son. And I'll always love you. Just don't disappoint me.


Thoughts:

This was a little more difficult for me to write than usual, for a couple of reasons. First off, the writing style is decidedly unusual. I didn't go quite as semicolon-crazy as Jamaica Kincaid did, but this exercise shares the terse, rough qualities of her work.

The other reason this was difficult was that it's uncomfortable to write things from a perspective I don't agree with. I have been lucky enough to have been born into an accepting, loving family. I was never pushed hard to be a "man's man". I know a lot of men who were, though, and they tell me stories of being borderline abused by their fathers if they stepped out of line (disobeyed an order, acted too feminine, etc.)

Obviously there are some elements of homophobia in what I've written. Again, this is purely from a perspective of what I could imagine a father in perhaps a rural, religious area of America might be like. Young men are pushed hard to act like men, to be brave and tough, and obviously anything other than perfect heterosexual behavior is strictly forbidden by the "Unwritten Code of Men", at least in certain families. These are not beliefs that I personally share, it's just what immediately sprung to mind when I thought of this sort of old-fashioned, tough-guy dad giving life lessons to his son might be.

Another aspect of this is the discouragement of pursing the arts. Young men are sometimes encouraged to just focus on the tangible, physical things in life, especially if they come from a long line of blue collar workers. They are born into this sort of clear delineation that tells them, "hey, even if you're smart enough to do advanced math or can paint beautiful pictures, your place is here in the shop working on engines. Your place is out on the field scoring touchdowns."

A final note is that I get a strong sense from Girl that the mother is trying to relive her life vicariously through her daughter, and is pushing her to avoid making the same mistakes she did. The key difference here between legitimate advice and something that is harmful is that the mother isn't doing it out of the goodness of her heart; she's doing it because she wants to go back in time and correct her own mistakes, in a way.

Blog Post 001 - August 27 2013 | Introduce Yourself

Introduce Yourself


My name is Josh Marugg. I'm taking this class to fulfill a core requirement for my degree. I'm a sophomore, and my major is mathematics.

1. My greatest asset is __________.
2. The nicest thing I ever did for anyone was __________.
3. The nicest thing anyone ever did for me was __________.
4. One question I have about life is ___________.
5. One thing I've always wondered about is ___________.
6. My teachers last year will tell you that I am a strong writer.
7. My friends will tell you that I am a little moody sometimes.
8. People like me because I have a good sense of humor.
9. One thing most people don't know about me is I have a rare autoimmune condition called interstitial cystitis.
10. I am an expert on strength training (but I haven't been active in the sport for a couple years).
11. I want to know more about everything.
12. When I am 50, I will still be playing video games.
13. Five years from now, I will hopefully be able to play guitar very well.
14. When I want to, I have the ability to be really tenacious in the face of adversity.
15. A famous person I admire is Nietzsche because I am a nihilist and I appreciate his world view.
16. The bravest thing I ever did was _____________.
17. I have trouble dealing with early morning math classes.
18. I appreciate it when teachers recognize that some people are introverts and we don't like constant group projects.
19. I am proud of my __________.
20. I like ___________ because ___________.
21. I really need to ___________.
22. My favorite class is __________ because __________.
23. My friends make me laugh when they ____________.
24. My pet peeve is people who talk out of turn in class, or speak arrogantly to the professor.
25. When I am sad I get pretty damn cynical.
26. The most stressful thing in my life is worrying about my future.
27. The most influential person in my life is __________ because __________.
28. If I had one hundred dollars, I would probably spend it.
29. I am named for ___________.
30. It was easy to learn how to read.
31. It is difficult to learn how to interact with other people gracefully.
32. I have no regrets about __________.
33. I regret a lot of things, but it's time to move forward in life. 
34. A friend once showed me how to ___________.
35. I like ____________ music, particularly these songs: ____________.
36. My favorite color is green.
37. One dish I can cook well is ___________.
38. My favorite place on earth is being alone in my room or in a quiet environment.
39. What is a mistake that taught you a lesson? What did you learn?: I have learned to be less vocal about certain things, particularly personal problems or things about me that are not another person's business.
40. What is an obstacle you face in completing this class? How can you, your classmates, and your teacher help you get around it? : I don't really foresee too many obstacles in this class. I have always been a very strong reader and writer. I'm not saying that out of a sense of arrogance or entitlement, but my professors have generally be very pleased with my work. So, we'll see how things go in this class.